June 19, 2009


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Saturday, January 3, 2009



I've been gone for several days and haven't really been in the loop for sometime already. That's because my son's cough has been on and off for almost a month, but this week, it was at its peak. I've tried what I know to help him cope with the coldness and dryness of winter, but I think I've fallen short. They say it's normal here for his age to get sick at this time of the year but I don't like it. It makes me worry because he has just recovered from a mild primary complex, which he developed last winter too. His lung is very fragile at this time and frequent attacks of cough and cold might do so much harm.

With this, I am faced with a dilemma... If we go back to the Philippines now, EJ and his papa will have a long time of separation. Several times we've asked him if it's OK that papa will stay in China while we stay in our hometown, his answer had been a consistent, NO IT'S NOT OK. The other day his dad was able to convince him to say "yes" to the separation because they can still talk on the computer and if he needs someone to carry him, his uncle will be there. However if we stay longer here, his health will be compromise .

I haven't posted much or visited your blogs because I am torn...It pains me hearing him catch his breath as he sleeps at night. My sleep has also been compromised and I'm pregnant, I have to make sure I'm well rested for my baby inside. On the other hand, It breaks my heart to think of separation, especially that of EJ and his dad. I'm not sure what this "separation" will do to EJ's emotions... His dad can come home 3-4 next year and probably during summer, we can stay here in China for a couple of months.

I would appreciate your thoughts here...Should we go back to our hometown (separated from each other yet EJ will recover faster) or stay in China (together as a family but EJ's health might suffer)?

A. Go back to our hometown
B. Stay in China
C. OTHERS (pls. specify)


A. Go back to our hometown
B. Stay in China
C. OTHERS (pls. specify)


Mari said...

What a terrible thing to have to decide. Neither option is good. How long would the separation be? Would it be possible to take EJ back and let him recuperate, and then return to China for a time? Do the Dr's recommend that you go back? Lots of questions and I'm sorry - no good answer. I'll be praying for you as you make this decision.

Henry the Dog said...

Gosh, what a dilemma. I think if it were my mum she would put the health of her kid above anything. Saying that, if it upsets your boy to be away from his dad then that's not a good thing either is it? But good health truly is paramount, don't you think? If the quality of your boy's health is deteriorating you should go back, in my view.

Anonymous said...

Hi, meili_lo.
Don't give this separation idea much thought, after all it's not a serious one (God forbid) and kids in your son's age will get over it and forget. What really matters is the health of your son and yours. If you has the MD opinion already, Get another MD opinion for your health as well, and go for it.
That's what I believe. But the most important thing is (Ask your heart),
mother's heart want deceive.

Aizan Suhaira said...

In my opinion, it's best to go back to the Philippines. The seperation might be unbearable, but it's a necessary evil. Your son's health is the main priority now.

bfs said...

I don't know if this really works or not, but I have heard that at bedtime, you should put Vicks Vaporub or Menthylatum on the bottom of your child's feet, then put socks on. It's supposed to stop the little coughs.

But it sounds like there might be more at work here than just a 'little cough'. I will pray for you to make the right decision for everyone.

Lee said...

It is a hard choice to make. But it is one you have to make. We have a Chinese lady and her daughter living next door to us while the husband/father works in China and visits every so often. This was because of wanting to send the daughter to a school near here.

Blu said...

Hello, I havnt been here before so I wasnt going to comment until I read that you like comments. I can see that this is a really hard choice. But your sons health is so important, and there are so many ways to stay in touch these days. Wishing you kind thoughts from Blu in Brittany France.

posh post said...

i think at this time, it should be weighing the most advantages and the least damage.

like my hospitalization. some doctors tell me that i should not be taking the meds that my own doctor prescribed me. but i guess, my doctor in her wisdom decided on them because that will give me the least problems, rather than not taking anything at all.

in my opinion, i am for going home. that would mean less stress for all of you. it may not be the best choice, but it is the best in the circumstances.

well, that is my point of view. God guide you. :-)

Claudia's thoughts said...

This is a dilemma. But first I would ask, with him being sick for so long, did anyone check him for asthma. A cough that is persistant and shortness of breath could be a sign of it. What does your doctor say?

It is difficult because my husband and I lived in Asia and Europe and you may not feel comfortable with the health care and would want to go home.

It is difficult to answer.

meili_lo said...

thanks to you all... when he was in the Philippines, he was diagnosed with sligh asthma. i too have slight asthma usually it manifests with the change of climate. we're going home to have a thorough check.

really appreciate your thoughts...

those who are about to comment, additional information will be very much appreciated.:o)

Boing said...

What a horrible choice! I would not like to have to make it... I can't think what I would do, but think the best way to make any decision would be to discuss it with the people who know you well and will be honest with you. Those people who love you and have an outside perspective (cos they are not you) will often talk through things and help you find the right choice deep inside yourself!

andysbethy said...

I just stumbled upon you... hope you don't mind random stranger comments!
I am a military wife, so I consider myself a pro at separation. I won't say that it gets easier, but I will say that the kids really do survive, and even thrive. Technology really is amazing now! My husband is about to deploy for the third time, and my five year old has already adjusted to the idea quite nicely. My three year old isn't quite as sure, but he will be fine once the time comes.
My main question/advice is "do you have people or family to help you back in the Philippines?" You don't want to be alone, especially while pregnant. Make sure you have a support group already planned.
Blessings! Bethany

Jenners said...

I'm so sorry that you have to make this decision. But kids are resilient and will probably be OK either way you decide. If your child is in medical jeopardy, then I think it is a no brainer -- you have to do what is best for him medically. I wish you all the best.


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