June 19, 2009


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Monday, January 12, 2009



Last month I underwent a blood test that enabled me to find out if my soon to be born baby has the right number of chromosomes needed for a normal child. On our way home, I asked my husband why I had to go through that test. What if our child has more or less chromosomes needed, is there medical intervention to correct the case? He said NO, it's just for us to consider if we will continue or stop the pregnancy because here in China, abortion is legal. That made me think... I don't believe in abortion and I always believed that a fetus is already human and has the right to live. However, this event shook what I have always believed and made me wonder... What if indeed the child will turn out to have down syndrome or other abnormalities? We have a friend that has a child with down syndrome and heart problem - a hole in her heart I think. Because of that, they've been in and out of the heart center for several times. It's painful hearing him say that in those times he sees his child struggle for survival, he almost prayed for God to let her child rest and take her. Luckily he said, she always survived but everyday, they're on their toes because one more attack and everything might be over.

I believe that life in itself is a miracle... But as a mother, seeing my own flesh and blood suffer so much is the last thing I want to happen. When my son was sick and he had difficulty breathing, I had to stay awake all night just to make sure he is positioned properly. I cannot imagine my friend's feeling seeing his daughter in such a critical condition.

My result came out and it says that my child has the right chromosomes... As a believer, I can rely on God's healing mercies to heal my soon to be born child. My faith will rule so I will go on with my pregnancy BUT the human side of me, the mother more specifically, will always wonder if I should go on or stop the pregnancy, if I knew my child had those conditions. Considering also here in China, they have 1 child policy - if they have more than 1 child, they have to pay several thousands of Yuan to the government as penalty. To them, having a normal child is everything.

How about you? Go on or stop with your or your wife's pregnancy in this case?


A. Go on...
B. Stop...
C. Others (pls. specify)


Simply Heather said...

Oh sweet little momma...GO ON! Here in the U.S. we had the option for the same testing and I chose to refuse it. It's difficult enough during pregnancy with our emotions without adding in more worry.

For those of us who Trust The Lord for whatever the outcome may be, we find strength in knowing our worries are in His Hands. After all, our Heavenly Father must have been as torn in sending His Son to us in the first place.

I feel that you believe all children are a gift, as I do. No matter what physical inabilities they may have, they're still able to make loving, self-sacrificing parents of us ;o).

Love to you and may your days be full of comfort, peace, love and all of the Goodness from our Most Awesome God. ♥ Heather

Mari said...

I was offered that test for my last pregnancy and I didn't take it, because I wouldn't have done anything different if there was a problem. I believe abortion is murder, the taking of an innocent life. I believe God creates each life and it has a purpose and it's not up to us to say when that purpose ends. I am a nurse and have cared for people with Downs syndrome and other chromosomal or birth defects and they have touched many lives.
I'm sure it's very painful for a parent to go through this, but there is no guarantee that even a healthy baby will remain healthy. Or - the child could be born physically healthy and have emotional problems.
For those reasons I would continue the pregnancy.

Lee said...

It is a really tough decision and no-one else can make it for you. Personally, I think I would vote for a termination.

Boing said...

In my opinion, nothing really justifies abortion, just as nothing justifies murder. I think the test can be beneficial in some ways though, because if you are going to have a child who has Down Syndrome or some other such abnormality, you will be better able to prepare if you have the knowledge. In South Africa, most people do not have those tests, unless they are a high risk for some reason. I probably would not have it myself, but see the benefits of being able to prepare yourself for what can be a very challenging time. A friend of a friend recently had a baby who was diagnosed Down's when he was born and it was a very difficult time for anyone who was close to them... Prior knowledge would help everyone prepare and leave the time of birth to be the celebration it should be.

Aizan Suhaira said...

Oooh, tough one.
But frankly, I would stop the pregnancy. Why?

I don't want my kid to suffer.

I don't want to feel resentment against my own kid.

And call it cruel, but I think it is just plain common sense to stop the pregnancy.

reedwrites said...

I think you have to know something about Down Syndrome or any other genetic disease...which is to say that there are varying degrees of severity. Not to say it would not be difficult or an ideal scenario, but as all children are miracles--it's not the worst thing that could happen.

That being said it is a very personal decision with a lot of factors/questions that have to be weighed and I honestly do not know what I would do.

However on a more positive note, I'm glad that your tests came back normal.

Claudia's thoughts said...

That is really difficult. My friend had an amniocentesis when she was pregnant with her last. She said she would have terminated the pregnancy. She did not want the older children responsible and burdened with the care when it was an adult and her and her husband was gone.

We can say what we would do, BUT unles you are in that situation no one really knows.

Sometimes I see an older adult with Downs with their elderly parents. Who will take care of that person? We had one guy in his 40's who had come in with his elderly parents crying with the separation of surgery. What is going to happen to that poor soul when his parents are gone???

I do not have an answer.

catsmum said...

As a mother to 3 children who were born with a genetic disorder I would have a test and then a termination if the result was positive.Not out of selfishness wanting a 'perfect' child but out of knowlege having seen what suffering they have been through.

Trouble is even a positive test result doesn't say how severally affected the child would be.

My 3 have the same chromosome mutation but very different presentations of the disorder. My son died after 16 years of unbearable suffering.
What God had in mind for him I will never know.

One of my twin daughters has multiple disabilities and medical problems.The other is autistic but tells me she has a good life.

As a mother watching and caring for them I too have suffered as have their brother, sister and father.
After been through what we have over the last 28 years we tend to say God created science so it can be used to our benefit.

Shannon Jacobyansky said...

Go on! It is really not our choice to choose. God gifted you with the child and gave the child a kiss in heaven and then placed the child in its mother's womb. Sit and ponder the sweet kiss of the King. It is His child as well and no matter what the problem or condition the child may incurr...the Lord knew...He knew you would be the perfect parent to handle the situation.

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Leon Basin said...

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bfs ~ "Mimi" said...

GO ON!!! All children are a gift. Every fetus is a life.

SSQuo said...

Interestingly, I remember being asked something similar at some competition years ago. Tough qtn. My answer was that I would not have the child, because I think it is unfair to bring a child into the world when he/she has to suffer so much and may not even get to enjoy the world for what it is.

I referred to God too,coz I truly believed that little baby WOULD come back to the world either through me some other time, or through someone else. :)

I didnt think it was the right thing to say considering I was going for a not-so-common answer, but I believed it, so I just blurted it out. I won the competition.

I think its individualistic, and each persons choice is supported buy his/her reasons which makes it right for them.

I am excited for your imminent transition to warmer weather!

betchai said...

Beth, first, congratulations for the coming baby and I am happy for you that your coming baby has the right chromosome. It is a gift to be celebrated.

However, on your question whether to continue pregnancy if the baby in the womb has incorrect number of chromosomes, personally, since I already have the life in my womb, I will carry and give life that chance. For we do not know how severe is the abnormality. I had an older brother who was born with spinal muscle atrophy, therefore he was not able to walk, talk, could not even get up from bed on his own in his whole 16 years of life. the doctor said when he died that it is very uncommon for people suffering from that deficiency to live longer than 10 years. i just want to think he was happy during those years despite not being able to enjoy a full life like what we have. there were days we saw him cry, so we would play around him, and that would make him laugh with us and happy, though he could not join us at all because of his poor muscle reflexes, we have to make him sit so he could watch us play, otherwise, he would just lie down. I knew it was a big sacrifice for nanay to see one of her sons suffer that disease, but I knew she loves him as much as she loves us. As I recall the pure joy and laughter from my brother's eyes whenever we were around, I would like to think he was as happy as he could be, but of course, since he could not talk at all, I really do know what he felt. Having had this experience, I still think I will carry the baby, and give him the chance to see the light, to hear the sound of this world, and let him embrace the life that was gifted to him.

Oma aka Meme said...

I would have to go on as it was not my choice to give the life to the child in the beginning but God's- also sometimes this test is a false positive so in the end it might not be correct - everyone has the right to live and who am I to say how one must suffer or if they do suffer- I worked for 15 years and now of the down folks suffered anymore than someone normal- yes- they live life a bit differently but they are happy- often enjoy life more than us folks who think we are normal - just sort of how I see it,,,,,,,,sometimes life contains no easy answer- I know that kids with downs now have a normal life span as you and I- at one time they did not ------but only because they were often allowed to die after birth by neglect or starvation- I hope your next question is more simple to answer--LOL

betchai said...

Hi Beth, sorry, must give some correction in how I phrased my response,

"personally, if i already have life in my womb..."


"personally, since i already have..."

there's a huge difference, wrong choice of word in my part, my bad :( sorry Beth, but I am not pregnant :(

Just sharing my thoughts if I would be in such a situation

shabby girl said...

It's a question that so many of us ask ourselves. For myself, I didn't bother with the test because I would have continued the pregnancy anyway. But there are other circumstances that make you think, i.e. rape, or the inability to mentally, physically, or financially care for a child.
There but for the grace of God go I. I try not to judge other women's decisions. I'm not walking in their shoes.

Cari, Abe, and Paige said...

I refused those tests when I was pregnant. I refused them for the fact that it didn't matter. We would have kept our child no matter what and deal with any health issues as they came. Thankfully, she was born completely healthy!

Go on is my answer. ALWAYS...go on!

SSQuo said...

Its been a while you have been away from the blog world. Just wanted to check in. I hope all is well with you and the family.


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