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June 19, 2009

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meili


Thursday, November 27, 2008

DOES AGE MATTER?

SHE WRITES:

In the context of a romantic relationship, I wonder if age really does matter. My sister's boyfriend is 8 years older than she is. A friend's parents have 11 years gap - the male being the older one. There's a famous actress living in (soon to be married) with a famous actor in our country and the male is almost twice the woman's age. In my mother's office however, there's a different case - the woman was 45 and the guy was 28 when they got married. These relationships I've mentioned are going strong. =)

Most of the time, if the male is older, not much objection is heard. However, if it's the female that's older, the town seems to talk about it. Although one reason I know is because women mature physically ahead of men due to the stress or trauma (for some) in giving birth. But women mature emotionally and mentally ahead of men, that's why we celebrate our debut at 18 and men at 21. My father used to tell my brothers to marry someone at least 3 years younger than they were. That was my father-in-law's advice to my husband too by the way, hihi... My hubby is 3 months older than I am :-)

To what extent does age matter? Or does it even matter?

A. Yes it does
B. No it doesn't
C. Others (pls. specify)

YOU WRITE:

A. Yes it does
B. No it doesn't
C. Others (pls. specify)

24 comments:

Lee said...

My wife is two years older than me, doesn't really matter.

I think the problems occur when the couple get older and the age difference can result in a significant health gap. For example: a 50 yo man marries a 30 yo woman and all is fine. But by the time he is 70 and she is just 50 the age gap can become an issue as he may start needing caring and she is still active.

Hippie said...

I don't think so. I mean I can definitely see why it is for adolescents. But once you become a legal adult then it's no one's business but yours. Unless, again, there's an adolescent involved.

Anyway, you can't choose who you fall for.

RCBonay said...

Age does not matter as long as laws are followed and as long as the parties involved are in love. They also have to be financially stable enough to raise a family.

Ares said...

i think age matters when you get married. see, i know someone who's 30+ and she has a 'progressing' relationship with someone about twice her age.

consider what would have come to be after 10 years? twenty more years? most of the complications of being old might be more apparent by that time, and being the wife, she must take the responsilbility for all his needs, medications, etc.

and one more thing, what if they decide to have a child? (anyway men at that age can still be productive) would he still be able to witness his child's college graduation?

i'm just thinking of practicalities. but i still believe that the relationship in it is the most important among the rest in tying the knot.

:)

Posh Post Reviews said...

hi there!

i don't think it does matter. after all, it is the decision to love that matters. take care!

Marriage Markers said...

hello! hmmm...i don't think it matters...but for me, i dunno if i would want to marry someone so much younger than me...hehehe my hubby is a just a few months younger than me. but when it is several years, i dunno, i think i would feel awkward.

Flowersbythewayside said...

thanks for asking.

hmmm...i think it depends on the preference of a person. if they are happy with it, others don't have a right to question their relationship.

good dya!

Boing said...

I think it is a personal preference, but do feel it makes a bigger difference when you are younger. The difference between an 18 year old and a 28 year old, is a lot bigger than between a 28 year old and a 38 year old in my opinion, even though the age gap is the same.

Amy said...

Great format.

I think the age span matters depending on the age of the participants. 18 and 25 is a lot more significant of a difference than 28 and 35. It's the life experience that makes a difference.

HLiza said...

To me age did matter as I need a man that I can respect. Initially I thought age shows maturity, but it's not always the case. Now I'm happy enough with a man of my age as my hubby. The love is more important.

Hollie said...

Thanks for visiting my blog & inviting me over to your's. I don't think age really matters as long as you both love one another....

Jeannette said...

No, it does not matter. My mother was older than my father and they had nearly fifty one years together. Thank you for visiting my journal.

Claudia's thoughts said...

I think that if the person is old enough to be your mother or father perhaps that is too old.......In the USA when the woman is older than the man she is call a COUGAR, like the mountain lion. I do not know where that term originated. My husband is 11 months older than I, and for one month he tells everyone we are the same age.

Claudia

Ramon said...

age doesn't, feelings do. age matters the most when you worry about what other people might think of you but i guess it all depends on how much you love each other.. if you worry about others, you have more concern for them than for your companion which i think is a bit self-centered or egoistic. if you worry about not having children or who dies first then it ain't about the feeling. @_@

Henry the Dog said...

Other - I tend to agree with what Lee said - he talks a lot of sense that guy.

Uncle Hugh is 14 years older than my mum, but you'd think it was the other way round. Uncle Hugh is like a big kid. I think women generally are much more mature than men. But it depends on the people involved doesn't it? Also, mum says that the age gap between her and Uncle Hugh was more relevant when she first met him when she was 23 and he was 37. Now she says it's no big deal.

Aizan Suhaira said...

I prefer dating someone older. But that's just me.

just me said...

First I want to thank you for visiting my blog and inviting me to yours.
This topic is right up my alley because my husband is just short of 22 yrs older than I am. We have been married 17 yrs and have a good marriage.
For the most part I don't think age matters,it is more about working on a relationship and that happens no matter the age.
Barbara

a corgi said...

I don't think it matters; what matters most is communication between couples, commitment,common interests, etc. My husband is 4-1/2 years old than me, his brother is a year younger than his wife, both of us have good strong healthy marriages because of those things I listed above including faith, trust, respect, etc

have a good day :)

betty

swmpgrly said...

I think an age gap is ok between people to some extent.
My Hubby is 15 yrs my senior.
He will be 60 tomorrow but acts much younger, that too matters.
He also looks my age....that helps.lol One good thing is in his eyes I will always look young.

swmpgrly said...

Almost forgot thanks for inviting me to your blog.

Mark and Elayne said...

Shalom: first, thanks for stopping by our jounral and leaving your link.
Now to your question. I think it depends on the couple. If we are talking about two mature adults who share many interest, values, morals, etc, I don't see a problem. I am 13 years older than my husband, yet everyone thinks he's older than I am :) We share the same faith, values, morals and many of the same interest. If the person is your met to be, it would be rather foolish to allow that person to slip through your finger because of a number.

Mike said...

For me I would say 5-6 years older or younger. Anymore than that and there is just too much of a life style change.

Heather said...

Hey! Thanks for checking out my blog!! I actually do have some insight on this particular post!!
My boyfriend of three years is 13 years older than me. Yes...you read right; 13 years. I've faced a lot of people asking me WHY I would so willingly be with someone so much older than myself, and I tell them all the same thing. If someone makes me you truly happy, it doesn't matter if they're older, younger or the same age.
When you find someone that you connect with, you have to look past everything accept who that person is, deep down in their heart. That's the only thing that matters. It's been tough for my parents to accept, but they've come to terms with it and understand what I see in him.
Okay, enough of my sappy rambling. :)

Anonymous said...

hi..i am amazed of all your comments/ideas about age gap..! oh well,i my self has age gap with my boyfriend.my age is half of his age.i am 25 and he is 50.i know im inlove with him but he always pushed me away 'coz he has beliefs that it is imposible for me to feel in love with him.he always pushed me away and wants me to find someone same age as mine or more younger than him.does age really matter? i know he loves me but i he doesn't believe that i also love him...! "sigh"

nave

 

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